mylightspirit

A small gift that opened my eyes to the cruelty of the world. A couple of years ago, specifically in 2016, my sister travelled to Vietnam and Cambodia as a tourist. As usual, she came back bearing gifts: special shawls and silks, and of course my ultimate gift of all times “Books”. Among them were “The Killing Fields” and “First they killed my father”, along with other historical novels. These books marked my first deep understanding of what happened in that part of the world; all the killings and butchery. 

“The Killing Fields” hit me hard. It was one of the heaviest books I had ever read. I couldn’t imagine all these killings, the corpses scattered around, nameless bodies tortured and killed in hideous ways. I felt every word as I read, often pausing to manage the feeling of heaviness in my chest and trying to shut down my imagination.  How could this be real?

That book always felt like fantasy, all this killing in that part of the world, and in so many places! These stories felt like a fantasy; the butchery, the cold, heartless acts, and many historical incidents written in blood. They were just stories buried in history books and novels.

Since October 2023, these stories are no longer buried. We are witnessing the killing fields in real-time. The first strike on a hospital shocked us, leaving us breathless with anger, sadness, and hatred. Then another strike, and another, numbing us. Those terrible scenes from the novels became real incidents we see every day. Neighborhoods destroyed, neighbors buried under rubble, families wiped out, their beloved city demolished. Only the sea carries away the pain and cries, making room for new miserable feelings.

From inscribed words and imagined incidents, to real images projected on our small screens, introducing us to torture, pain, misery, blood, and countless killing fields. We are bound to people we have never met, who deliver the reality from the adjacent side, waking up not knowing if that would be their last day. They sleep, thinking they may never wake up, while we watch and wait, wondering if we are next.

We hear the strikes from the small speakers, see the terrified faces of young and old one through our screen, till the voices were heard outside our windows and a bit terrified faces are becoming ours!

What once felt like fantasy is now a harsh reality. Closing a book and turning the page used to make it go away. Now, turning off the screen doesn’t erase the voices and images. The feeling with every sonic barrier strike and breaking news is rooted in my body and can’t easily go away.

This isn’t a story and those are not some fantasy scenes, those are not actors, those are not numbers, those are real people with dreams, hopes, and ambitions. This is reality!