Category Archives: Uncategorized

Land of Contradictions

It doesn’t matter how small Lebanon is, being a country that is barely shown on the world map, still as small as this land in the whole globe, it happens to hide as many diversities and contradictions as possible.

This small land attracts tourists for its history, they come here for Byblos, Baalbek, Jeita, Rouche, and for the beauty of its mountains and sea. They come for the food and the nightlife. They come to the joy that this country brings.

This country that is hiding behind the beauty a misery and suffer of the Palestine nation with 70 years of refugee life. At the corner of the city and away from the fancy restaurants and touristic places, there is life. Life of people fighting to get the minimum of their human rights. People whose only fault is being born a refugee.

A small land, where displaced refugees, from Syria has in its valleys and rural areas their only safe escape. For several years now, they found themselves in tents with nothing more to lose other than their own lives.

A small country where its own people are suffering every day. Suffering to get the minimum rights of women, fighting to protect their children, fighting to have their rights for a better life, fighting for better services, fighting for a better tomorrow and better country.

Still above this all, there are people living in their elite areas, having their prestigious life away from the suffer of this nation. Not even knowing that there are refugees in this country, not knowing any of their suffer. They have isolated themselves in their shallow society away from this country itself.

It is a small land, land of contradictions, land of happiness and misery all at the same time. Land of history and secrets, but as much as you love it, it keeps on disappointing you every day. It leads you to despair and isolation as it gets worse day after day. The gap between the reality and how you dream this country would be only gets bigger and bigger. The land you want is only in the world of dreams.

“Land of Contradictions” by Nour Al amine/ Drawing by Mohammad El Baba

Places & Memories

It is all about the memories, what stays behind; after an adventure, an encounter, and an experience; are the memories. Memories last forever they say, it is engraved in your backup brain and in the deepest of your dusty feelings.

Memories are sweet and bitter, life and death; it is the beauty and the ugliness of wishing to forget as wishing to remember. Places though are cold, lifeless, bunch of stones and wide empty fields, still places are the stage of our memories. As a certain place triggers a memory that was lost and dusted.

Places provide a reason for the hibernating memories, to get in front, to take the lead, and present itself. Meaningless places to one are a huge pain to another, the way places enfold secrets and events. There is a story and a memory behind everything, how things got organized the way they are, how a bunch of pictures got in place, even when all is gone you still see the trace of it on the walls and behind the closed doors.

The whole atmosphere of the places evokes back the images, the feelings, and the whole bunch of memories. Sometimes it goes beyond the place and to the actual atmosphere, the common atmosphere places share. When a shared atmosphere affects us, it all comes back at once, rebirth from the past, overtakes the moment, and transfers us back to the time and place of the actual event.

History is written in some places, and if you listen to the voices hidden within the walls, if you look deeply behind the hung pictures, you will be overwhelmed by the places and gone way back in time and you’re there observing as history is being written.

Our elders share a story in these places, we are creating a story here, and the ones that will come after us will create something new. We all keep secret hidden memories in places which are only available to the ones who listen!

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Trains

At the subway; wandering around, chasing the leaving train with past memories and expecting a new train to come from the future. A subway; full of life, of people and moving trains in both ways coming and leaving and there you are struggling; as an overwhelming feeling wins over you. You’re dimming from inside as a melting candle. Darkness is getting larger as you strike, revolt and resist against it.

We are just sitting there; remembering what the leaving train took with, what was written on the windows with dust, What secrets were hidden under the seats, ages, moments, sweet &bitter memories, good &ugly faces, joy& sadness and the passengers that got into the train and left once and forever.

The tunnel is getting darker, gloomy, and scary as the darkness arouse within as well. As we struggle upon the darkness, a new train lights its way through the dark tunnel over there, carrying a new life, a new start and an ending for the past story. Again hundreds of questions are asked; where will we be? What events are going to happen? Who will be there? Guessing and drawing images as if we can control the time with its frequent changes.

At that busy subway we are lost between the leaving and coming trains. It is easy to be blown by the force of the leaving train, and left lifeless, meaningless and quiet as the dark.  Dark is easy to settle in with  considering all the fear, misery, troubles, and weakness you can hide there.  You’re invisible. You and the dark are one. While it is hard to keep up with the future train, there is too much light and with the light; comes pain, struggle, responsibility and courage; you can’t hide. In the light it is all clear, you have to fight, you have to rebel and you have to face. In the light you have to suffer in order to survive.

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Lost between the tracks of the dark past, and the future light, and forgetting the present! Forgetting that the leaving train was once the present and to reach the future train we have to live in the present one. Rather than looking right and left; just look in front of you on the present train.

Encourage the light within you, be the light, rage against the dimness, and get busy living in the present train; start creating events, meet people, hide secrets under the seats and draw fresh images on the glass windows. Don’t give up to the darkness; the darkness of the world is enough. Search for the light from within; nourish the dimming candle or reborn from the ashes.  With every struggle appear a new joy; and a new beginning. Take the lead and drive your own train to the future.

Farewell the leaving train and get aboard the present train to reach the future. The future train will never come to you if you sit in the darkness waiting for it!

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Am I Late?!

Wide fields and mountains really high, your shadow is here among the softness of the mud and on the toughness of the rocks. Your soul and your spirit are present. Where did everyone go?! Where are they now?! All quiet! All peaceful! Where are you now?!!Where have you been?!

You’re here; your voice is heard coming through the wind; between the high trees of life, your face is seen reflecting over the fields between the rays of light. The echoes of your laughs are rumbling in the wide spaces, the brightness of your eyes is sparkling along with the light, the beauty of your face and the magic of your being…where are you now?!

Empty cold places; abandoned fields to the wilderness of nature. Where did everyone go? Am I late? Did I come too early?
Beauty of the places, the peaceful environment, everyone is gone, they disappeared left this land to the wilds, and there is no sight of you…

The night is falling and the moon light is shadowing on the places. In between the rays of the moon comes images of places and times of those ran away faces, but where is everyone?
Am I late?!Did I come too early?!…

Flashbacks

As I sat in the crowded bus on my way home, a small kid about 7 to 8 years old stopped the bus and hopped in. I looked at him wearing his school uniform,  carrying a backpack which is absolutely bigger and heavier than his tiny body. He sat by the window staring out as if he is dreaming of tomorrow while counting the minutes to reach home, after a busy school day.images (1) As I sat quietly in that crowded bus with the little boy just right behind me, flashbacks came into my sight to the time when I was at the same age as his,on a sunny day as this day.I remember how on sunny days my brother and I used to walk up the hill after school to wait for mom and avoid the traffic. I remember each sunny day as a special one on its own, how we used to race each other on the way up one day and haste ourselves up side by side the other.

For few minutes I felt like that little girl again, holding tight to my elder brother’s hand as he walked me to class. Again, I was that little redhead standing by the fence looking up for my brother, the feeling of joy came to me again as when I used to catch a glance of him far away in the playground.

When suddenly a car’s honk woke me up, I am back in the bus tired and sleepy waiting to get out of the traffic as soon as possible. As I wondered did time really passed? When did I get this serious? What happened to my childhood classmates? Where this life did threw them? Did they change? How do they look like now? Even I have become a different person myself and far away from that little girl.

It is weird how I can’t help but imagine my classmates as they were little boys and girls. As if I am the only one who grew up while they are still stuck in the old dusty pages as naughty boys and girls …

I keep on wondering when did I reach this stage of my life, did I really pass through all this or is it just another weird dream?!

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A Crazy Wish

10507994_277497782435664_336475182_aAs humans we care so much about details, even the smallest ones. So when it comes to stories, we focus on every tiny thing that helps us in creating the image in our minds.

When we are listening to our grandparent’s stories or even to our parent’s ones; we ask them about every single detail. Details help us figure out what was going on, but there will always be something missing and shaded.

Stories from our decade and we can’t imagine it, so what about stories that took place hundreds and thousands of years ago! The stories we hear from that time seem unreal and so far away from our logical thinking, we get lost between the events, details, time and place.

From that moment of lost came a crazy wish; a wish to spend a day in every different decade. Imagine if you can witness great events that happened in history, if you can get to know world’s greatest mysteries and to meet the best people of the world.

tumblr_static_tumblr_static_2ryyl2kvf54wo48s8skkswggg_640A crazy wish that will help you reveal world’s secrets, unlock signals and you will get to know great people who history admires or was unfair with. This crazy tour will lead you to meet unknown people who had a great role in history, but they were not mentioned in your history book.

A weird world, where every society destroys the first and builds a new one, which in turn will be destroyed by another. A day will come where our world will be just a chapter in the history book and people would be wandering about our secrets and how did we manage to live in such a world?!

The same incomplete ending is written for different stories ….let your imagination on and search for the ending for the incomplete shaded story you heard.

Freedom

We are all born to be free, to take the lead and walk ahead, powerfully and liberally. Some believe that trapping themselves and waiting for the rescue is easier than fighting for life.

They choose to lock themselves, to be imprisoned, silent and weak. They decide it is easier to hide in the dark and wait for the change, for the hero to come and save them. They believe   help must come to them someday; someday somebody will come to disturb the creepy silence, break all the obstacles and give them the freedom they deserve!

Gullible and humble are those who believe that if they choose to be caged and scrawny are going to be rescued at some point.  The weak are always used and never rescued.

A freely, strong, and a leading person would never rescue someone to share freedom with him. The weak ones are the tools for the strong to reach a higher place; they loan a hand down to the weak to complete their image as considerate ones, but it is never for real. A free person makes you believe that you only deserve a limited portion of freedom and you’re destined to live such a life.

Freedom is not a reward; it is not something to be gifted to you. You either choose to be a free person or an imprisoned one.

From its beginning, life is based on freedom; a lot have died in their fight for freedom, freedom of land, of thought, of life….they all died for a cause they believed in. Looking back you will see that no one was gifted his/her freedom …they fought for it.

Choose to be strong, free, use your power and independence…and never choose to be the one who needs to be rescued!
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Maze of Confusion

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Inside a huge maze with a plan or without it; we always tend to move forward; somehow towards the bright side. We work and stroll ahead, heads up, mind full, carrying all what we have of accomplishments, ambitions and hopes. Glances backwards, flashbacks, memories and nostalgia, when out of a sudden you’re stuck!

You’re one way or another in the middle of the maze you can’t go back, which is not even an option; you solved so many mysteries and escaped from all the traps. Now it is dark and all the roads lead backwards and only one foggy one ahead; it is all terrifying. You’re out of choices, the wind is blowing against you, the fog in-front of you reflects your horrified shadow which is starring right into your eyes and heading to the road behind you. Will you let your shadow lead you? Or will you not?

Just go ahead follow your shadow, march on all what you’ve done till now, destroy it all, and live forever as a black and white version of you that is lost now and forever in this huge maze. Or guts up, let your shadow follow you, the road is foggy and dark; what can we do it’s a maze! But keep in mind that out of the darkness you will find yourself, you will solve it and find a bright way out of it.

Life is about tough choices and having the courage to make it. Inside the maze you are moving ahead , but just behind the wall to your right someone is stuck, to your left someone is trapped and maybe few miles ahead of you someone is setting the trap for you; you never know. You should wait a little, examine your way and be witty enough to know when to move on.

Be a little patient and make sure you’re making the right choice, you’ve crossed all the obstacles till now, passed through the harshest storms and by some means managed to dance your way inside a tornado. You’re almost there, don’t give up now, never accept the fact of becoming the black and white shadow; instead be the courageous colored version of you that is welling to find its  way out of the maze no matter what!

Outside the maze there is a total new world waiting to be discovered, maybe it is a new mystery or a fresh beginning; either ways you should be brave enough to discover it yourself. Lots of shadows have been trapped in the maze of confusion for a long time now; you can hear their shouts, feel their fear and witness their regrets. They took the wrong decision at the right time, but you’re here now so think right before it is too late…

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The Voice of Fate

The moon in the middle of the dark sky, the clock rang announcing midnight; his horrible day was finally over. He dragged himself down the dark alley trying to get to bed as fast as he could.

He walked lonely in the dark troubling his fate and destiny; when suddenly in that darkness raised a loud mocking laugh arresting all the silence and freaked him out as he never had been freaked before.

Shivering lonely in that dark alley, trembling non reasonable words in his attempts to know what was that? Or actually who was that? The laugh was back followed by the answer “I am your fate you stupid! .So he gathered his breath and shouted distinctly: “Aren’t you satisfied yet! All what you’ve done and now you’re insulting me!”

Calm down little man I am the victim here! You invented me; you are nourishing me with your faults and stupidity. You are the one taking the actions and then you blame me for the reward. The credit is all yours when it comes for the worthy ones and you blame me for the rest. Stand up for your actions and stop acting like a victim.

As terrified as he was, he turned on the light with his eyes rolling around the deserted place; he was lonely as ever. He was just hallucinating; his actions are leading him through all his life. Now he is destined, fated to live such a life or die for it!

His terrified features are changed to shame and frustration; with only his shadow by his side. With no one there to blame and with his fate part of it; he just looked behind and accused his own shadow!!

Man nature refuses to learn the lesson; someone should always be blamed for an action, but never himself no matter what, as if his shade was not his.