Category Archives: writing&blogging

A Clown in Black!

In the middle of almost a deserted place, on the side of the high way, whether on a sunny beautiful day or a cold one, you’ll find him there. Sitting aside, in his colorful clothes, messy crazy hair, red nose, and his huge massive colorful shoes; surrounded by balloons of all colors, and the pink cotton candy enclosed in plastic bags as clouds around and above him. When you caught a sight of him, a smile is immediately drawn on your face.images

He is the mysterious clown, the colorful guy whom lives his life upon drawing a smile on the stranger’s faces, cheering both of the kids and the grownups.

Some may be afraid of his make-up face, and big shoes; the truth is he just a man, with a sad story, covering himself with colors and cheers.

A young man whom the life has drafted him to the edge, a man who is suffering enough to make a living out of the smiles he draws on people’s faces. Deep down under the colored layers, he is suffering, he’s in pain, he’s in need and he’s miserable.

He is a real man in black; he is a poor man in money and rich in his thoughts. He is a compassionate man turning his negative empty life into positive vibes andsad-clown smiles. He might look silly, scary or goofy, but he is just a broken black man knitting the scattered pieces of his life in attempt to draw a smile on your miserable faces.

He is the one to cheer you up on a bad day; he might steal a moment out of your busy day and hope to make you smile, while there is no one out there for him to cheer him up.

By the end of the day, he takes off his fake wig, colorful suite, huge shoes, removes his make-up and phony painted smile, showing his real weary cheerless face. He gathers the few pennies he gained this day, on his way to his dull home; he makes a quick stop to buy what he can afford buying of essential needs.

He is a real man in black who seeks hard to draw a smile on your face… he is the colorful clown!!!

Black & White

Early in the morning Black and White walk out of the apartment towards the elevator, Black looking great in his freshly ironed suite and new haircut. While White is looking very tired in his crumple clothes and messy hair gazing with his sleepy eyes at the floor of the elevator in an attempt to gather what’s left of his energy.

“Hey White are you still wearing yesterday’s clothes?”

“Yes, I stayed up all night replying to urgent emails and had no time to change before we leave”

“Oh are you that busy?!”

“Yup, aren’t you!!?”

“ Nope not at my department , they don’t need me I stare at the screens all day long, no emails , no phone calls, nothing at all”

“Oh I wish I can have a day like this but no they have to ask me about this and that, these and those …. Man I’m exhausted”

“I have an idea let’s switch places for the day, you go to my departments, get some rest and I’ll take you’re just for the day deal?”

“Won’t that cause us problems?”

“No it is legal for us to switch”

“Deal then, see you tonight”web-Wendy

White reached Dark’s office turned on the screens, positioned on the comfortable chair gazing at the screens. He saw the world in fresh new eyes; people cheating on each other, corrupting, lying, betraying, stealing, killing and doing things he never thought of and no one bothered to call him for an advice, as if he never existed. The idea of being useless irritated him, when he saw that bunch of suited men in a meeting. “Enough is enough, I got to do something!”

The day had finally come to an end; Black closed the office and walked home with an extra bunch of work to handle to White. When Black entered the living room, he found White sitting on the sofa, here take those papers, “I’m out of here I need some fresh air, tomorrow I’ll go back to my lovely quiet office”.

“I’m not sure about that” whispered White.

“What? Why?! What have you done Conscious White?”

“Well…Mmmm…I might have done something wrong”

“Something like what? Spill that bean out now White!”

“Well I was watching this meeting of the suited men and I thought I should do something about”

“Oh no no no …….not the suited men!”

“But their decisions were going to harm a lot of people, so I just made a call that’s it”

“Oh no! not the call! Conscious White I sent you there to get some rest not to bother the big heads!”

“Conscious Dark calm down a little when need to go to the court now”.

At the Conscious’s court the judge explained that the big heads complained about Conscious White’s behavior to the main office, Conscious White got fired, and banned from getting into any Conscious operation room for life, Conscious Dark would permanently take his place at the department while Dark’s operation room will be closed, there is no need for it obviously.

The Last Spark

As each afternoon, the mother stood behind the window watching over her seventeen years old daughter, as she rode her bike up the hill towards the old man’s castle. The mother can’t comprehend how her daughter can stand that cranky man and his creepy dog.

The old man is in his 70’s; he has been living in that castle alone with his guarding dog “Spark” for years now. When his wife passed away around ten years ago, he became unbearable even his own son left him and never looked back.images (1)

The girl is the castle’s only visitor, one day the dog let her in to the heavenly garden of the castle without harming her and from that day on she visits it every afternoon.

During her visit she grabs all what she like from colored flowers that fills the garden’s entrance, eats whatever she likes from apples, peaches, grapes and berries right from the trees, plays with Spark and enjoys the white headed man’s stories.

He tells her all about his wife, how they met, fell in love, married and had a great life together, he tells her about his son and how much he loves him and he shows her matching photos to each story he tells.

She enjoys his stories, finds him funny and entertaining, although he rarely smiles, always pissed off, well except when he plays with Spark and when he recalls stories, special moments and memories with his beloved wife and son; only then his face relaxes, his eyes shine and a smile could be traced at the corner of his mouth.

That afternoon when she arrived at her usual time, the castle seemed quieter than usual; there was no sight of Spark by the gate. She pushed the gate wide open and walked towards the front door, she knocked, waited, shouted over for her cranky friend, tried to peek through the closed windows for any sight of him inside but no one was there.  She sat on the stairs of the front door, in total silence, waiting for someone or anything to calm this arousing feeling inside of her and thoughts that filled her head.

“Oh kiddo, how long have you been here?” a voice disturbed her thoughts. She looked up, she recognized his face right away, he is the lawyer, she has seen him a couple of times in here, but why is he here now?! He passed her, opened the front door and invited her in.

Inside she stood in the living room, gazing around in search for her cranky friend to appear anytime now. Without any further waiting, he interrupted her thoughts and informed her that her friend was no longer with them.

The news was shocking, she freeze up in her place, tears filling her eyes, down her cheeks and pain arousing to her throat, she never knew that she loved him that much!

“Don’t cry sweetie, he was a great man, you knew that! Can you believe it; he left everything he has for charity, just think about all those people who will benefit from it. I think this is enough to make you smile”, said the lawyer.

Choking with a forced smile on her pale face: “what about Spark and his box of memories?” she asked.

“Well you can have the box, as for Spark”, he stops for a moment, “he left it for his son but when I called him, he said he always hated that dog”.


“I will take him to the nearest orphanage”, he said sadly.

The girl has just lost a friend and wasn’t welling to lose another one she exclaimed right away “Can I have him? Please, I’ll take a good care of him, I promise”.

With a trace of a smile on his face “that’s fine with me” he answered.

With a great joy overwhelming her, she grabbed the box of memories and rushed to Spark’s house in the backyard. She untied him as she noticed a small key clinched to his leash, Spark guided her to the backyard’s room where she found herself in front of a locked closet. She opened it with the key and for her surprise it was filled of money and gold with a note:

“The one who takes care of the last Spark of my life and my lifetime friend …deserves it all”.

Lights and Flowers

Crowded streets, full of cars the fancy and the regular ones wandering the streets into different destinations, heading to restaurants, theaters, cafe, home or probably heading to a friend’s house.  Where ever it is going, its’ passengers are seeking for rest and joy after a long working day.

There he is resting his back on the traffic light, gazing at its lights switching from green to orange to red. When the orange one comes he stands up hugging a bunch of flowers, ready to move and as fast as the red light appears he mingles between the cars;  charming the passengers one time, praying for them the other as he offers his flowers. Some just close the windows in his face, others curse him to go away and few are those who buy his flowers.images

Just like any other  day, he is racing  the time, and moving along with the light and escaping from death every minute as rolling cars pass by him. Behind the windows of the cars he sees all kinds of people the greedy, the kind, the sweet, the evil, the miserable, the tired  and the depressed; all waiting for the green light to move on. The streets are getting quiet; the sidewalks are getting empty with lighting bulbs twinkling softly, and he still has a bunch of flowers to sell, it seems that he won’t be calling the day off any soon.

He sits back in his spot imaging how does it feel to be in a fancy car, wearing elegant clothes, going to beautiful places and eating delicious food. He was taken by his innocent dreams and he forgets all about the lights and the flowers. When a voice comes from behind: “hey sleepy! Get back to work”, he opens his eyes to see his partner looking really happy that he couldn’t help it but ask “why are you this happy?!”,   “you won’t believe it pal, it is God’s mercy, there is this lady, she said I look like her brother so she gave me some extra money”, he says it with joy as his eyes sparkles and he jumps away holding that extra paper money tightly in his hand “I will be in the near street, meet me there when you finish, we’ll go home together”.

His friend’s happiness brought him back to real life, they don’t deserve a wealthy life, and they should be satisfied by the few extra nickels they get from time to time, he stands up and gets back to work.

By the time he sells all his flowers, it was early in the morning; he drags himself to go find his friend. He walks and walks, tired and sleepy, he calls over his name but there was no answer, he thinks maybe he’s home already. With this thought he changes his direction heading home, when he glimpses him sleeping by the corner of the street.

He approaches, stands right above his tiny body, talks to him but he doesn’t respond, he kneels down, shakes his body with his small hands, but he never wakes up, his body as cold as an ice and that paper money still embraced by his small dirty fingers as he hugged a bunch of flowers in the other hand.

The eight years old boy sits there mourning his friend, recalling how happy he was just few hours ago, wondering who will accompany him in his daily journey  across the city’s streets from now on,as kids their age get up in time for school.

He is coming today!

Every morning, she prepares the coffee, places two cups on the tray and brings it out to the balcony. Afterwards, she gets dressed with one of her vintage beautiful dresses, shiny heals and leather bag  and heads  towards the markets with a lovely smile on her face as she says to every person she sees “My son is coming home today”. She strolls around the shops as if she is searching for something specific until she reaches a closed shop.  She stares with disappointment turn around and walks back home.

On her way back, she ran into her friend who asked “What’s wrong?”  She looked at her with sadness featuring her old face “buttons! I need buttons for the sweater I knit for my son; I can’t give it to him without buttons”. She said that leaving her friend behind and marched ahead talking to herself, cursing that she’s late because her husband is waiting for her and counting the foods she needs to prepare before the biggest arrival.

At home you can see her through the windows, moving around the kitchen, with her dog sleeping on the rug, chopping vegetables, stirring pots, preparing the dining table, placing the fancy tableware for the special occasion, when everything is set, she changes for a better dress, sprays perfume, stares at herself in the mirror as she can sense the excitement in her eyes.  She sits on the top of the table waiting, the sun disappears, she could hear noises of her neighbors getting back from work, night falls, it is all silent and she is still waiting, in the dark alone with her shadow and her dog; her only friend.Woman-Waiting-by-Will-Collier

Poor old widow has never lost hope, her husband died of misery and she still gets up every morning, heads to the mall that she thinks is the same old bazaar, searches for places that no longer exist and for people whom left long ago. She waits for her son to return from a war that no longer occurs…

Her daily feasts end up feeding hungry families as everyday she gets up, she hopes and she waits …

A Struggling Tornado

Hand s apart, your  legs dancing on the rhythm  of the air, feeling the wind through your hair and striking your face gently, flying freely, like a free-falling leaf dancing in the wind.

At once you feel wrapped, surrounded by the wind, as if your internal struggle is subjected into the outside; you’ve been caught by a tornado. There you are cycling around yourself inside it, as it moves dragging all what comes on its way from good and bad, filling the inside of the tornado.tornado_to_oz_by_karla_chan-d4qpnzs

You’re wrapped between images of past faces, echoes of voices and flashbacks to far away moments.

The tornado is destroying the path ahead, scattering it into pieces, crushing it and pitching its pieces as far as possible.

It keeps you wondering about your own faith, what would it be! Will you be dragged back to the past, will you be thrown into the future, or will you be crushed and doomed into pieces!

For now try to enjoy the ride, be part of the struggling tornado, the tornado was for sure unleashed for a reason.  Maybe you just don’t belong in your present time and maybe it might be taking you to another dimension.

A dimension where you can fly freely, where you aspire and acquire, where you dream and do, where the flower of your hard work finally flourish, where the sun will rise, and where even the darkest nights are lighten up with a shiny moon and twinkling stars.

Keep in mind that after each tornado, you can start again; you can stand on the broken pieces and just start again from scratch.


Searching for the moon on a dark night, no sight of it, only darkness is mastering the quiet night…

Not even a single star had the courage to show up…download

What have happened?!…darkness…Silence…fears…defeat…deserted places waiting for a single star to shine upon…

Hidden faces in the shade behind the windows wishing for a single star…

Reflections of dark inside and out…

Will there be a sight of a star before it is too late?!….

Will the light arouse on the darkness?!…

Will the day come to uncover it all?! Will it clear the road upon?!…

Will the shaded faces have the courage to face the light?! Will it go out the windows?! Will it bright up?!

Will the time come… when stars twinkle in the sky? When the moon chiefs the center of the sky and glow upon the shaded faces? Will the faces speak up and scatter the silence?

Or will it always be dark with shaded coward faces hidden behind the windows…?

In a Mother’s Shoes

In a Mother's Shoes When I was a little girl, I used to fool around the house wearing her shoes not knowing how lucky I was to be stepping in a great lady’s shoes. Growing up by her side I learned every single day, how hard it is to be stepping in a mother’s shoes…

A mother devoting her life time for her children’s sake, wasting her precious years while taking care of them, carrying their problems, destroying all the obstacles with them to reach their goals and aspire for more…

A mother,an angel, who carries you for months and takes care of you through your whole life…

Feeds you like a Dietitian…

Dresses you like a Designer…

Heals your wounds like a Doctor …

Listens to you like a best Friend …

A mother who shares life time moments with you…

Her smile tells you everything is going to be okay…

Her hug gives you strength to keep walking…

Her glamorous looks lead you through the right road…

Her kiss gives you part of her compassion…

A mother not only for her own children but to everyone around, her loves and cares are enough for everyone, she takes care of everyone around her with no return …

She is a mother in every way of her life, with her friends, with her siblings and even with her mother; she is always there supporting, listening and helping…
She is enduring, insightful, wonderful, supportive, loving and much more…

She is willing to sacrifice all what she has to see you happy and successful…

She turns a cold house into a home and without her everything is useless…

She is the friend, she is the sister and most importantly she is the MOM!
It is simply not easy to have a mother’s heart and be stepping in a Mother’s Shoes…

Illusionary World

In the middle of nowhere struggling ahead to move while life have slapped you right in your face once again. Blocking walls are getting higher; fire is eating what is barely left, traps, shrubs, lizards and snakes. Every moment of each day we reach for something that leads to a fruitless end again.

At the moment you’re a bird trying to fly as high as it can, but somehow its wings are letting it down. As if you were locked somewhere, dreadful, harsh and lifeless while you can’t find the key to the door out.

Each attempt, each hopeful face ends up to be as hideous as the one before. What are we doing wrong? Have we taken a false road? Is this it? Is this going to last for long?

Complicated, irritating, shameful, pessimistic characters, dwelling around in some circle of time and place. Characters living a life full of issues, making terrible mistakes, carrying unbearable troubles. Then with a push of a button; magically they fall in love, solve their psychiatric issues, and move ahead creating a bright future.  These characters drag us with them to their world, world of words and images. A world that exists only on papers, where in few words, a simple line, life is changed, and a whole characters’ fate is upside down.

For an instant you find yourself part of the story, dwelling with the characters; suffering with them, smiling upon their smile, loving upon their love, feeling their pride and joy. Searching for answers along the way with them until it is over. When it is over a huge force pulls inside of you dragging you back, as if you are travelling in time from one place to another. There open your eyes and welcome back to real life, it is not that easy, things won’t be that glorious in the real world. Maybe Shakespeare was right in killing his main characters by the end.

Books, novels and movies are just a mirror of our life with a touch of imagination, glory and tragedy. It either ends gloriously or tragically.

Let’s wait and see how ours would end…With…UlkuUcgun_148_1415733933

A wish that things were easier to deal with…

A wish that a simple smile can dry the tears…

A wish that an apology can erase how things hurt in the first place…

A wish that distances are diminished and people are closer…

A wish that masks are fallen from all the faces…

A wish that words are true…

A wish that honesty and innocence are not a sin…

A wish that promises are real…

A wish that life is fairer…